


Alone

by MyGoldenEyes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, F/M, Hurt Magnus Bane, Implied Phone Sex, M/M, Mental Health Discussions, Mentions of Sex, Protective Alec Lightwood, mundane AU, was saved as oooof so if that tells you anything, why am i like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 06:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17699243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyGoldenEyes/pseuds/MyGoldenEyes
Summary: The phone rang.Magnus picked up.“Alexander!” His voice was bright and held no trace of the dark mood he had just been pulled from.“What’s wrong Mags?” -or so he thought.





	Alone

Magnus drummed his fingers on the arm of his chair. The tapping of his fingers, dulled by stuffing and upholstery, echoed out into the empty apartment. Alec had been gone for three days and it felt like an eternity. 

The winter months were always a disaster for Magnus. Not only did it remind him of days past spent staring out a window wishing for a certain one-who-shall-not-be-named to come back and finally forgive him, but they were dark and it was hard to go outside. There was also the issue of everyone being busy with friends and how much that always hurt. Magnus was their friend, wasn’t he? So why wasn’t he busy too? Why wasn’t he busy with them? 

It was a well-known statistic that the suicide rate increased in the winter months so Magnus always had to deal with friends who knew of his “condition” reaching out every few days to ensure he was alive, but never to spend time with him in an attempt to better than life. It stung, but Magnus understood. He was not very fun to be around this time of year. Why would you invite the depressed friend out when you were trying to have a good time? 

Hell, even Alec, his fiance didn’t want to be with him at the moment. Magnus tried to stop himself following that thought, tried to remind himself that it was just an end of year business trip that anyone in the normal working world had to go on. There were always loose ends to be tied up and people to visit as the year wound to a close. 

He tried to remind himself of the way Alec had smiled at him the morning he left and how he had tried his damnedest to convince Magnus they could squeeze in a quickie before his flight. 

Sure Magnus tried to remind himself of these things but somehow his mind took a life of its own. It started to linger on details like the way Alec refused a ride to the airport or the way that his calls always seemed to always be cut short by “business.” Magnus even found himself blaming Alec for how he was forced to fly straight to another meeting instead of dropping by their home for the weekend before he was off again. 

Of course, this leads to a separate spiral where Magnus berated himself for even considering to be upset with Alec. Even if Alec didn’t want to come home or talk to him, so what? It was probably Magnus’ fault anyway. It was Magnus’ fault for always being so clingy and demanding so much attention. 

The phone rang. 

Magnus picked up. 

“Alexander!” His voice was bright and held no trace of the dark mood he had just been pulled from. 

“What’s wrong Mags?” -or so he thought.   
Apparently, his betrothed was better at reading him than Magnus thought. 

“What ever do you mean dear? I was just waiting for you to call, I must have drifted off because it startled me. Nothing’s wrong just a little tired, I promise.” Magnus found a fake smile plastered on his face even though Alec couldn’t see him. 

“Don’t bullshit me Mags. I know you and I know when you’re upset. Tell me what’s wrong or so help me I will use our wedding money to fly back early.” 

Magnus’ eyes flashed concern and he dropped the phony smile, “It’s just what I said, Alexander. I’m tired. You know how I don’t sleep well when I’m cold and here I am in the middle of the winter in New York, a city known for its cold winters but has the thinnest walls- I swear I heard our neighbor going at it with someone last week and I know for a fact that his wife is out of town this week. I-” 

“Magnus,” Alec said Magnus’ name with a warning tone that let Magnus know he wasn’t going to let Magnus change the topic so easily. 

“I forget how persistent you are. With the time apart it’s no wonder my mind is beginning to lose details of your personality. But alas- I suppose I’m not getting out of this with an offer of some phone sex and naughty pictures, am I?” With a confirmative grunt from Alec Magnus let out an overly dramatic sigh that turned down at the end revealing his exhausted mood, “I don’t know what you want me to say, Alexander!” 

Magnus stood up from his chair and paced around it to lean his arms across the top, “I feel horrible! I’m all alone with no one to talk to save our hour-long phone calls that get shorter every time. I can’t get out because it’s cold and I can’t rationalize it unless I’m with someone but everyone is always busy. What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say what I think? Well here it is- I WANT YOU TO COME HOME! That’s it. I want you to get on the next plane and come home because without you I’m all alone. You are the only person who can stand me for any substantial amount of time so I want you to come back to me because I can’t stand this anymore.” 

Magnus was panting by the time he finished his rant and he was on the brink of tears. 

“Nope.” Magnus was so shocked by that response that it nearly reversed his down mood. 

“What do you mean “nope” Do you mean to tell me after all that the only thing you are going to say to me is “nope.” His mood had been reversed but now it was tipping towards anger. 

“I mean nope as in you are completely off base. I am not the only one who can make you feel better so I am not going to come home. You just need to go out and see your friends. Does it ever occur to you that when all your friends are busy spending time with friends that it could include you? Magnus, they’re your friends too! I texted Isabell while you were going off about how I am the only one in the world who can stand you- which we will get back to by the way -and she says that she offered to take you shopping tomorrow with Simon and you declined.” 

Magnus felt his lip jut out in a pout, “I didn’t want to impose.” 

Magnus heard Alec sigh through the line and he knew if he could see Alec he would have that infuriatingly understanding look on his face. 

“She asked you, babe. She wants to spend time with you. You really think Simon is a good pal to go shopping with? He isn’t fun to be around at any time!” Magnus chuckled at his fiance’s obvious distaste for his sister’s chosen partner. “I told her you’ll go. I don’t want any excuses from you. You have to spend time with other people.” 

Magnus was silent for several moments which Alec correctly interpreted as resenting acceptance. 

“And back to I’m the only one who can stand you bullshit. There are so many people that love you Mags. You know it’s not just me and you can’t put that all on me. Because no matter how much I want to be with you forever I want you to be healthy more. So if something happens to me or I start to become someone who is bad for your health you have to leave. And you can’t do that if you think I’m the only person who will ever care about you the way I do. Please, tell me you understand that?” 

Alec sounded sad and quiet and Magnus was filled with guilt. He knew better. Alec and he had had this conversation a dozen times. Magnus had talked to a therapist about this, so he should know better but here he was again putting Alec into a bad position. 

“I know, I know, Alec,” 

Alec made a grunting sound of approval, “So do you feel better? You’ll get out of the house tomorrow and I am not on any kind of pedestal. Now, what was that you said earlier about phone sex?” 

Magnus laughed at this ridiculous man he had decided to spend the rest of his life with.


End file.
